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i used to be happy all the time. i used to never stop smiling. i used to make other people happy by just looking at them. i used to put entire bowls of pudding on my head. i used to climb trees. i used to pretend i was a pirate in the trees. i used to like my dad. i used to squeal with glee when my mom would pull me under a tree in the rain and shake the limbs. i used to be mezmerized by thunderstorms. i used to be innocent. i used to have small feet. i never used to look at the world with such spite. i never used to know what the word spite meant. i never used to have to fight back those wretched, horrid feelings of doubt and self-loathing that plague me on a continuous basis. i never used to cry like this...
now
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